Tuesday, December 15, 2015

Giving heart a break.

Assalamu'alaikum Warahmatullahi Wabarakatuh. 

I don't even know there did I get the idea of writing this entry. This is what I have been keeping inside. Paling honest dalam hati. This is not an entry yang sedih sedih okay. So read as you please. 

Most of you readers must have been knowing me since high school so I can say that you knew who I dated before and now that I do not have anyone as a boyfriend or what so ever you call it. You might also have read my past entry when I was really heartbroken (lol). Kinda funny to think back about it. Anyway, it has been a year since the day we broke up. Truth to be told, the first few months were the hardest for me to go through. I have NEVER felt that kind of heartache until that time of my life where I felt so helpless and sad. Thank goodness Allah saved me from any harm or a longer heartbreak so He gave me rezeki to work. People there helped me to get back on my feet. I was happy again. Happier than before. Tak tipu la at times, on every other nights I thought of him and feel sad sikit. But the next day, I was all okay again. And honestly deep down in my heart (at that time) I still had hope that we just COULD be together again, but now I know that's not happening. 

Months went by, feelings fade and watching him living his life, made me stronger than ever. I knew right then that I had to move on. I need to let him go out of my mind. I live my everyday life and I think of him less and less everyday. Moving on pun kena ada usaha jugak kan, so I did so many things just to forget and it worked. Sometimes I think that it is so not fair for him to be okay while I'm struggling to get myself out from the post break-up heartbreak. But who knows what's in his heart. Good for him if he's all okay. Ada rasa marah, sakit hati, tapi what can I do? 

Now that I'm all fine and happy, I came to my senses that what happened actually brings good to my life. Through out this relationship I have learnt a lot. I can't imagine my life now if I happened to not met him. I was kind of a bad girl back then. Lepas break, sebulan dua je dah ada boyfriend baru. After meeting this guy, I learnt to be faithful. 3 years mannnnn, with this one guy je. And your heart is like totally shut for any guy at all. Kau tengok semua guys takde yang setanding dia ah. Takde yang lagi handsome, lagi charming, lagi sweet. All you can see is him. I learnt to give and take, I am more mature and boleh sabar lebih sikit. I learnt to fight for what I want and for what I love. Stay if you really love someone and I learnt that it takes two to tango. If one of you gives up, there's no use of holding on anymore. 

If you happen to read this, I never regret you. May both of us make ourselves better for the one who really deserves us.  Maybe we weren't meant for each other at all and for that I take it wholeheartedly. I might take forever to forget you, I hope I'm not that easy to be forgotten too. The journey with you had been the best yet. Although I planned to have forever with you but God planned something better for both of us. I have 0 feelings for anybody (faithful, see!). Still have a great deal of love for the same person and like I said, my heart is like already shut for anybody. 

To everyone out there, it's okay to be sad after a break up. But after that, grow back stronger okay? He'll give your happiness back, you just have to patiently wait. Everything happens for a reason, remember that ;) x

P/s: how would I know if you read this anyway?


Popular post