The urge to write lengthy entries has stopped for a while now even though in my mind I always have something to say. I don't have the energy to spend time and write something that is appropriate for others to read when I know, my way of coping is by writing. I have been writing though, just not here.
You can call this an update, or a goodbye because I think....I'm gonna stop writing here for now. Lately (or the past year or so) I always feel...exposed, for some reason. I know too well that me writing things here are for people to read anyways, but some part of me now are not Okay with that fact.
Plus I'm struggling with navigating life so I'm just...taking it day by day. Don't get me wrong, life isn't bad at all but I have also seen better days. If you are experiencing the same thing, these are the things I do to help, might work for you too.
1) Keep a journal. I write, not daily though, but whenever I can & especially when my mind have too many running thoughts. I just dump everything in there.
2) I write myself letters. Monthly. Well, this is much related to (1) but instead of writing it as & when I need, I also write to myself at the end of each month. It's more of a summary of that month, of what happened that month & how I felt. I just wanted to reflect & make sure future Tya knows she made it through.
3) I read. I try to read a lot more. Mostly fiction though because reading really helped me escape whatever it is that I'm feeling & focus on the storyline instead. It has been great but I try not to be too dependent on fictional stories. Hahaha
4) Allowing myself to feel sad, frustrated, mad but just for a night or a day. To feel negative feelings is normal & human. Cry if you need to, even if you're a man and you have that stupid ego.
That's all. I hope you feel better soon, I know I will.
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