heartfelt

I fell for you three years ago. That small thing you did, was all it took to make me attracted to you. I swear I didn’t have any idea that small gesture would make a whole lot different to both of our lives. Days went by, you approached me first. You took the first step, the second, the third, you made me feel like I’m in a complete fairytale. I felt like I was dreaming. You made me feel so special. I felt like I’m the luckiest. I fell hard for you and I knew, you fell for me too. We both so drown in love but somehow, i took a step back. I never give my all to you. I put my guards up because I was afraid. Afraid that you would break me, you would leave me. Like everybody else. But no, you never give up. You convinced me that you are worthy. That I can totally count on you. That I can rely on you. That I can give my heart to you. And you somehow, promise to keep them safe and sound. It took me two years to really believe you. And you patiently waited for me. That’s when I know, you really love me. You’re really serious about us. You really want this to work. I pushed you away a few times but I never failed to come back to you. Because I know pushing you farther away from me makes me love you and yearn for you even more. So I came back, came back to you.

The last time I came back to you, you were different. You were not the guy I knew 3 years ago. You’ve stepped into a whole new world and I’m still here, still trying to figure myself out. You’ve met new friends, new girls and guys. You’ve grown to love them and that somehow, wilted our love. You broke your promises the minute my tears fell for you. Now, my tears for you are so cheap. I cry easily now. One thing that I’ve never done with anybody else. I never cried for any guy but you’re different. I cried a lot for you and I still do. If all these things meant something to you why do you seems alright? Do your heart ache as much as mine does? Do you regret letting me go? We had the worst ending. Not a proper one and till today I haven’t get over it. Let alone getting over you. I love you way too much to just fall out of love. We fought for this love for 3 years and why do we have to stop? Why do I have to fight on my own? Why do I have to hold back my anger and frustration whenever i see you with other girls just to keep us together? That’s not fair for me. I don’t want to fight alone. I’m would sacrifice something but I’m not sacrificing just to let you do things that I don’t like. The fact that you failed to commit—i knew right then, you have stopped trying. You gave up. 

Relationship can’t rely on just love. There’s so many things needed to make the relationship work. We both love each other and that is just it— nothing more.

p/s : excuse me for this. again.