Friday, February 2, 2018


What has been your most poignant experience with loss?

I have two. One, is when I lost my grandmothers. I was crushed both times. My grandmother on Mum's side whom I call Wan, passed away when I was in standard 5 (8.8.2008). I see her every week because Mum's side of the family have this tradition or kebiasaan that we would gather every week on Saturday. We do nothing fancy, just hang out together. So it was really strange not having her around anymore. Since I was only 11 years old at that time, I was not that close with her. To add up, she was a strict grandma, so I was more takut of her and tak manja manja with her. 

My other grandma on the other hand.... FUH I don't even know where to begin. I love her way too much. When I lost Wan, she was the ONLY grandparent I have. You know grandmother's love is one kind, and I truly feel it with her. I call her Nenek. When she passed away, the heartache was too intense. I was crushed. I felt like a piece of me was gone. She didn't have chronic disease what so ever, she was just old. She passed away in 2014. I wrote all about it in an entry, you can read it here. I was so affected by her death. Up until now, I still hope she's here with us. And I still feel awkward to say 'arwah' nenek.

The second experience is when I lost someone who meant the world to me. It was too heartbreaking I wouldn't wish it for anybody else. There is nothing left to explain here, I've said enough. I wrote about it in an entry, you can read it here. And then I felt better, I was doing better, I wrote another

These two are my most poignant experience with loss. 

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