Friday, November 30, 2018

Being a girl

I wish your future husband good luck - Mum

I was in the kitchen earlier today helping Mum prepare lunch when I mention about how I don't like kitchen work. I hate cooking, doing the dishes, siang ikan and all the other things you do in the kitchen. I hate it. I told her I would do laundry over and over again but not cooking. 

You would already know what she said to me after.. Hehehe 

Jadi perempuan ni memang la semua ni kena tahu, kena pandai buat bla bla bla..

Then we got to Mum wishing my future husband good luck. 

I'm not gonna get married.

Yea, right (mocking tone)

You see, this is exactly why I said it. I don't want to get married if I'm going to be told to do this, to be perfect at this, to know how to do this and that and this. Why is that? I honestly cannot wrap it around my head the actual essence of getting married. Why do we have to marry, even? Is this why we marry? I do not wanna use labels here but man, being a Malay girl is really hard. Pressuring. 

I think being a girl in general is already really stressful. Being born as a Malay girl made it worse. It is already a pressure being an anak dara, I can only imagine how much more pressuring it is being married. I am expected to know how to cook and be good at it, I need to take care of my body and look good for the husband, I have to be able to give birth and be a good mum. Without all these, I am not considered a good wife. 

I know, I know in some of you guys' heads you will be thinking 'Tya you're only 21, why are you talking about all this already'. It is because I have already being fed by all of the do's and don'ts. Mum has been telling (read: nagging) us sisters on this matter since we were still in primary school. Plus I am 21, and I am "expected" to get married in the next few years. I don't blame her for her conservative mind, she is very traditional when it comes to this matter and that was how she was raised my my grandmother. That has made her an amazing mum that can do literally everything. Truly, I look up to her. I wanted to be like her but in my own way.

But it is now a different time and era. Girls nowadays have so much to achieve, and we would want to reach for the stars too. We want a good career, comfortable life, expensive cars that we worked hard for. I have seen so many dreams go down the drain after a girl got married. Some couldn't further their studies, some quit jobs and that scares the crap out of me. I am an overachiever and just thinking about that, made marriage life even more unattractive. 

I respect everyone's life decisions. Some people put marriage as a goal in life, some others want to have a comfortable life before settling down and that's fine too. I rasa I dah lari dari topic sebenar. Perbualan di dapur became a whole topic LOL. I just want to put it out there that I hate cooking (and related activities) and that doesn't mean I am less of a woman. To conclude, being born with XX chromosome is hard. Bye.

P/s: Shout out to all girls. All struggling girls ♡

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