Life isn’t always all rainbows and sunshines, sometimes its stormy and brutal. I have been gone again, for about two months. I would say the same thing all over, I was busy with stuff when truthfully, my mind wasn’t in the right state. I know how I said I only write when I'm in a good mood, when I'm all cheery and happy and positive. That’s unrealistic. I feel sad at times and my life gets tough too.
And while I was gone, life was really tough. I know I also said that I am an open book, you can read me right through and I would write about everything…. but there are also things I avoided. Actually, there were a lot of thing that I kept to myself. And today, I am not trying to tell you what happened either, I am just letting you know that sometimes I do feel low and hide behind the wall of positivity I’m now still trying to uphold.
Man, it’s easier to say 'be positive, think positive' when all you think of is how your life is about to crumble right before your eyes. You might think, “Are you dying or what now?” No, I’m not. Thankfully. But there was a time where it felt like I was about to face death. One time things felt so unbearable that it seemed like I was at a dead end. No way out.
But I can tell you one thing, being hopeful that life will turn back around is what kept me sane. I keep a smile through out those times because I was really hopeful that these were not for nothing. God is doing His thing, in His timing. I would not say that life is all good now but it has gotten so much better. I know that He listens to my cries and begs. I kept my faith high all the time -- yes, I kept my positive hat on.
I’m not trying to be a hypocrite. One second I say its hard to stay positive but another I say the complete opposite. But trust me, that was what kept me going. And I also uphold to the belief that you attract what you always think of. So think of only good, you’ll attract good.
I know all of us have gone through hard phases of life, and heck, there will be a lot more to come. If it’s not because of my past experiences, I would not be strong to go through this as I did this time around. Life will always try to get you left and right, but always remember it’s you who has the ultimate control of your life (yea, yea, I know it’s God) but it’s you who control how you feel and how you react to these kind of situations.
While living a realistic life, slide some optimism that life will turn out great and you will be just fine.
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