#TGIF: twenty something

I have officially made 29 trips around the sun, today. The last time I posted exactly on my birthday was when I turned 20, which was 9 years back. At the time, 20 seemed huge, a very serious age. I graduated from teenagehood, and it all seemed so fresh, and new. Embarking on a decade that would be so formative and defining, if only I knew.

Back then, I couldn't even fathom what the next decade would hold for me. I had a version of the future in my mind, very different from what I am currently living. My frontal lobe had barely developed for adulthood, and situations and relationships that doesn't even matter now felt so huge. But the innocence and the seemingly endless possibility at that age is what I miss the most. My career was not set in stone yet, and my day to day was much simpler. 

My biggest achievement back then was probably the fact that I started eating veggies, after refusing (read: hating) veggies since childhood. I started with just salad, but who knew my-now-self would crave them? At times it does feel like time has passed and I have grown up, but most times, I didn't even realized it. Only when I look back and see how many years have passed and how much things have changed -- how much I have changed. 

Now, running my final lap before hitting the big 3-0, I realized birthday wishes and expectations changed. I no longer wait for the clock to strike twelve anymore. I did not anticipate my birthday as I would when I was much younger. I don't expect messages to flood my phone or a celebration. In fact today, feels like just any other Friday. My only hope is that for those who believe I matter in their lives, would send genuine prayer for me -- for my wellbeing, my rizq, and for Allah's continuous sustenance and barakah to shower upon me. InshaAllah, ameen.