#TGIF: Some Days

Some days it feels so near,

Other days it feels like a million light-years away.

Some days it feels possible,

Other days I am convinced it's not in the cards for me.

Some days I crave it,

Other days I feel I am better off without it.

Some days I look up at the sky and wish upon a shooting star,

Other days I barely think about it, as though my life was always meant to be this way.

Some days my chest fills with hope so huge I might collapse,

Other days I feel lucky that I still get to be selfish with my time and energy.

- AZ

#TGIF: 15 seasons of us

15 trips around the sun
That doesn’t feel like a long time
’Cause all we had was a good time
Not realising how much time has passed by

Funerals, graduations, weddings
The birth of a new member
Promotions and housewarmings
I’ve seen it all through the years

Through drought and rain

Through tears and cries

Never once wavered 
Choosing to stay despite it all

Thank you for growing up
And growing old with me

Chasing rainbows and sunsets
Through all of my seasons

Till our hair greys

Till our children grow
For 15 trips now

And 15 trips more

-AZ

#TGIF: Love, ungranted

He is the love I thought
I’d only see in movies,
Staring back at me through a screen,
Hidden in someone else’s story,
Dreaming one day it would be mine.

He is the love I thought I had,
Loyal, standing by my side,
Smiles that lingered, then faded,
Goodbyes to years we once shared.

He is the love I see in dreams,
Hazy eyes, quiet allegiance,
For all that I am
And all I will be,
Until I wake, searching for what wasn’t real.

He is the love that aches at eleven,
A silent longing as I celebrate,
Cheering for newlyweds,
Wondering if it’s written for me.

He is the love I am still waiting for,
Pennies tossed into wells,
Wishing the love I’ve given
Finds its way back home.

He is the love I pray for
In waking hours and quiet nights,
When nothing is heard
But a soft, private plea:
“Oh God, if marriage is meant for me..”

-AZ

#TGIF: Through Their Eyes

 

The little hands tapping on the window,
eyes wide, full of wonder,
shrieks and gasps saying—
“Look at those! So beautiful!”

It’s the same view I see every day,

every commute to my 9–5.

I’ve long lost appreciation for it,

but to them, it’s all new.

I understand it now—

the role of a child:

to teach us to slow down and appreciate

the world once again,

to see through innocent eyes,

to find beauty in the everyday,

the kind that dulls over time.

I stand right behind,

smiling to myself, whispering thank-yous,

for showing me that life can be

ever exciting, ever thrilling, ever exhilarating—

even in the mundane,

if only I choose to see it that way.

- AZ

#TGIF: etched between pages

You scribbled in my notebook once,
leaving a mark that forever etched itself
between the pages of my life.

Now I flip through other notebooks,
searching for any trace of existence, of remembrance—
knowing it will never happen again.
Not with you,
not with anyone who passes through.

Still, my muscles, bones, mind, and soul
keep wishing—quietly, stubbornly—
that one day,
I’ll find a familiar scribble again,

on a fresh page, a couple of years down.
But this time, it won’t burn—
it will feel like coming home.

- AZ

#TGIF: You can do anything

You never know the kind of pain you're able to overcome
You never know the kind pressure you're able to face
You never know the kind of kindness you deserve to receive
You never know the kind of love you're able to experience
You never know how high you can climb
You never know how far you can run
You never know how fast you can race
You never know how much you can grow
It's hard to see the other end when you don't have the right faith
In yourself. In your circumstance.

It's easy to give up and accept "fate"
From the spot you thought is final, prophesied, fated for you
Until you experience the other extreme, you will realise

You can overcome anything
You can handle so much pressure and not break
You are deserving of so much love and kindness
You can get to the summit
You can win the race
You are able to outgrow this box you are in

Only if you believe in yourself enough to start making that leap of faith

You can
If anyone else have done it, achieve it, concur it
What makes you think you can't?

- AZ

#TGIF Untiltled

On the table, I lay everything

So you know the price going in

So you won’t expect the wrong thing

And if I can tell you one thing,

It’s in your arms I want to die in

And if you find yourself

Unable to love me,

Then don’t you worry —

I have enough love

For the two of us to survive on

If somber is what you want for me,

Then you have no idea.

I have walked this earth

With open wounds;

Your disregard isn’t enough

To break the already broken

In my mind, I’ve thrown rocks at you,

I’ve cursed to your face,

Yet you’re the reason I grow wings anew.

So instead, I flash my sweetest smile

And send my best regards

This constant war in my head,

I will never tell you —

Unable to decide if I

Should be grateful for you

Or hate your guts

- AZ