A Self Reflection

I came across an Instagram profile that belongs to an acquaintance of mine. He shared his journey of finding god and his efforts of getting closer to Him. He is a Christian. Do his stories make me feel weird? No, it in fact inspired me to be better with my faith. I almost never get it how some Muslims feel scared they would lose their faith by just wishing friends Merry Christmas when faith should be harmless for anyone to practice and what we need to do is just show respect.

It got me thinking, every religion has their struggle. I was selfish enough to think oh how hard it is to be a Muslim, let alone being a Muslim woman. People tend to judge you in everything you do. The way you dress, the way you speak, the way you bring yourself. A constant question I have in my head all the time: Is this OK to do/wear/say? Not just in the eyes of humans, but ultimately in the eyes of my God. But then again, aren't we all? Even the most ignorant person would have this question cross their minds at times. None of us are quite there yet and we all are struggling just as much. 

Would you ever think that someone with completely different faith brings you so much closer to yours? This is my first. If it takes a Jewish/Buddhist/Christian/Hindu to knock some senses in me, then be it.

Of being 23 & how I feel about it

I turned 23 nearly a month ago. How do I feel about it? To be really honest, I don't know. 23 is a weird number, and it's even weirder to say I am 23. Why do I feel that way? I can't even answer. All I know is that, 23 is the transition age of thinking oh I'm still young, dumb, broke but totally carefree to oh shit I'm an adult, I have things to pay, commitments got doubled.

I have more people asking me when will I get married, when will I get a boyfriend because we all know that "position" has been vacant for god knows how long. Meeting my relatives at weddings also means getting these kind of questions:

Ni bila lagi?

Nanti jemput la eh

I'm afraid they would have to wait for a veryyy long time, haha! Mama would bug us (yes, us three!) once in a while with questions related to this too and it usually goes this direction:

Nak mama carikan ke?

Tak kisah, asalkan decent. -- Our answer, all the time.

In all seriousness, turning 23 brings a larger meaning to me especially now that I am working. There are more things I need to think of, even larger responsibilities. My priorities will always be my parents first, myself comes second. So thankful that I still have my parents around to see me grow as a person, my sisters, my friends, the same people around me from years ago, until now. Eternally grateful.

I look back to my 22nd birthday and I can guarantee that my 22 year-old self had no idea I would be where I am, becoming who I am right now. Not sure if she would be proud or confused. But I know she would be happy regardless.